Tuesday, May 25, 2010

B R B . . .

As much as I attempt to update and write on a regular basis, I feel as though I'm spinning in a bizarre whirlwind. I have handfuls of posts started, just not perfected and posted. But it's come to a point where I need to just take a day or two to gather my thoughts before I even try to be a "writer" or "blogger".

An old, old, oldoldold friend has taken her life and it seems to have brought a seemingly unstoppable life to a dead halt. Yet, the universe is making it very clear that as much as my thoughts or body are not moving, everything else is.

Exhibit A: a clearly unstable woman stood up in front of everyone on the 6 Bay bus and pulled
down her sweatpants to adjust her white, ass-gathered granny panties. GOOD MORNING.


Exhibit B: walking aimlessly downtown, thoughts and mind clearly not
in sync, I pass a man petting an iguana sitting on his shoulder. WTF??


I get it. I need to get back to the regulated march of my life.. but, for just a bit, I think there's enough crazy and bizarre wandering these streets that I can duck out for a few. I promise to return, full force and frazzle free, after some time away...

And to the family and friends: there's never much to be said at a time like this... so instead I send out constant thoughts and prayers and hope you, my old friend, are finally at peace ♥.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Stop drinking the weaksauce. No big deal.

Sometimes the universe speaks to me and usually it strikes up a conversation by injuring me.

Case in point: spraining my ankle.

You see, I have played sports my entire life. I've had ridiculous adventures climbing trees, cars and ice mountains. I used to say my ankles were rubber since I'd roll over them about 50% of the time I'm on my feet. Yet, I have never injured anything below the shoulders. Then, in my more sensible years (i.e. a couple weeks ago), I sprained my ankle hopping down from a truck. It wasn't even a big truck! It is the most pathetic injury of my life. I may as well be 80 years old and breaking my hip trying to bathe myself.

Throughout my adventurous and jockish tendencies, I've had many inevitable injuries, but I played through them. As a result, I toughened up. And now that I don't go on any questionable adventures I suddenly sprain my ankle hopping out of a car. WOW.
The absolute lame act of injuring my ankle feels like an unavoidable message from the universe. To endure such pain by such pathetic means made me realize I need to make an important change in my life: I need to start doing more awesome, adventurous and potentially dangerous activities, God willing.

Moral of the story: there is always time to have fun without concerning yourself of the risks. That's how the BEST memories are made: You never expect or anticipate the awesome events you share with your friends over and over again. There may not or never will be a reason to do said things, but don't worry because once you've done them (and recovered) you'll know exactly why you did it and why you'll never regret it.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Best concert ever. No big deal.

March 8th. 11:31am. The message enters my inbox.

The Kibbles to my Bits, Daniela, had scored two free tickets to Muse for that night. A musical experience we had been trying to scavenge (sold out) tickets to. It’s easy to rationalize a big ticket purchase when they’re in your must-see-live-before-I-die bucket. Not so easy when you don’t have the money to spend… who needs to pay the rent anyway?


So, here’s the catch…

The message was sent to two people: me and, our fellow Sharkweek member, Terra. Daniela innocently concluded her
note with, “Figure it out.”

*Cue the gong* Let the uncomfortable battle begin.

After endless suggestions of how we would decide fairly (merkin/vajazzle competition, feats of strength, both wear a onesie, checkers, beer pong, flip cup, NY Times crossword puzzle) we went with ye olde Pick A Number. My heart instantly screamed FOUR. Never second guess yourself friends; the number was three. Muse, here I come!

HANDS DOWN, MOST AMAZING CONCERT I'VE EVER SEEN.

The stage set up was amazing. Three pillars, each able to rise and lower, as well as rotate. Intense and beautiful graphics were projected on each pillar, correlating with each song's lyrics and integrating live closeups of the band members. At one point they put a grand piano on the left-hand platform. Of course, to add to the bewildering fantasy of "when and how the f**k did they put THAT there?!", it was only noticeable once already raised and illuminated by glowing lights inside the slightly exposed belly of the piano. This particular setup provided a 360 degree view for every fan, which was amazing considering it was completely packed. With the concert being sold out, there was barely anyone actually seated.

The entire two hours of music and imagery had everyone standing. At times, unified waves of fist pumping and clapping rhythms matched the beat of the songs. The energy in the Air Canada Centre was penetrating and you couldn't show enough appreciation, whether you were standing, top-tapping, or full on rocking out. The imagery helped create an interactive atmosphere when the ACC technicians released giant blown-up eyeballs down each side of the stadium, bouncing and falling over the general admission area in front of the stage [Bottom left photo]. In Woodstock fashion, these eyeball balloons bobbled and jumped as fans knocked them around, each one popping and sprinkling confetti at their leisure.

I'll never forget this show and it will definitely not be my last time seeing Muse live. For anyone who hasn't indulged in this experience, it is worth the expense. Live it.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Aural s.e.x. No big deal.

My hearing holes have taken over my body.
They surround my head with relentless thoughts of soothing lust and explosive eargasms.
Who else can settle this ravenous hunger, but...

Phoenix: Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix

Crystal Castles: Crystal Castles

Vampire Weekend: Contra

The Kooks: Inside In the Inside Out, Konk, anything Luke Pritchard + acoustic

So good.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

EMOlymipics. No big deal.

Is it the national beauty, coast to coast?
The feeling of a hope-filled nation united?

The unanimous glory of gold reverberating across Canada?
The melodious voices singing the national anthem?
The fact that I will never be an Olympian, cheered on by 43 million patriots?


Whatever the reason(s) may be, am I the only one feeling uncharacteristically emotional during the Olympics?? Whether I'm watching a Canadian's gold medal finish, hearing thousands belt out the national anthem, or watching an immigrant family come to Canada, I get weepy. That's right. A Tim Hortons commercial got the best of me. Possibly because it's more subtle with product placement and strategically pulls you in with the story of a reunited family... Okay so it's not as emotionally compelling as "She's Come Undone" (great novel, check it!). I guess I have been infected by the emolympics. I think this first viral attack came during the medal ceremonies, where Alexandre Bilodeau received his gold - Canada's first at home. I swear, no matter how out of tune or technically unmelodious, the Canadian national anthem never sounded more beautiful than when it's being belted out by thousands of Canadians.

I do have to specify, though, that it's not winning gold that moves me, but the energy and pride it brings to Canada. I hated hearing all the hype around Canada's "shameful" performance at previous Olympic games, never having won gold on home soil. I didn't, and still don't, believe it helped the athletes perform. What I do BELIEVE is that it hindered performances, raised expectations to an unnecessary level, and promoted the wrong sense of patriotism among our nation.

It also pushed other Canadian athletes and medalists to the wayside. Jenn Heil's silver-winning moguls run was nowhere near as celebrated as Alexandre Bilodeau's golden win. She was the first Canadian medalist and, yet, when I Google which Canadian won the first medal at the 2010 Olympics, there are 6 entries about Bilodeau until it finally mentions Heil's accomplishment. Even SHE didn't look proud to have placed! How infuriating! Being a baby winning silver is WAY worse than not winning gold. You just won Canada's first medal. Be an example for your country and be proud of your amazing talent and hard work, otherwise no one else will.

To all Canadian athletes
- as a Canadian, a sports enthusiast, and admirer of your dedication, I thank you for all your efforts and amazing achievements! Gold, silver, bronze, or just improving your standing, you train hard and compete fearlessly against the best of the world. You are inspiring. I wouldn't be all emo if you weren't... Sniff.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

I love stuff. No big deal.


It's a day of love, a time of celebration, and an extended moment for family.

Whether you choose to enjoy
Valentine's Day,
the Olympics.
or Family Day,
this is an incredible long weekend
to be reminded
of everything and anything.
To love,
remember,
laugh,
cry,
smile,
shout,
fist pump...
To be
proud,
happy,
honest,
memorable,
yourself.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I'm vertically challenged. No big deal.


GOD BLESS YOU


For the pint-sized, stumpy-legged, short-n-stopped fallen of the denim world, RISE.. and put on pants. Why? Because they fit now! This may be a slightly late discovery for me, but in reading up on some fashion blogs I have learned Diesel, Rock & Republic and Paige Premium denim are all offering petite lines. No more embarrassing folding or shape-shifting hemming because, let's be honest, hemming a couple inches completely changes the look and fit of pants! These denim powerhouses are now (finally) tailoring 29" and 30" length jeans. It's a great day for the lollipop guild!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Pobody's Nerfect. No big deal.

The criticism plaguing Taylor Swift and her off-key performance at the Grammy's has opened up an interesting debate thanks to Swift's label CEO, Scott Borchetta. In Swift's defense Borchetta stated:
"Maybe she’s not the best technical singer, but she’s probably the best emotional singer because everybody else who gets up there and is technically perfect, people don’t seem to want more of it."
As much as this is her profession (and passion, obviously) I understand the inevitable scrutiny when a singer is not pitch perfect. However, I dare anyone to admit they have never made a mistake at work. It's human to have imperfect moments. It's also the media's job to pounce on the juicy carcass of failure. I've learned to accept both.

Having said that, I do have to address Borchetta's statement. It seems nonsensical and sounds like a desperate attempt to distract everyone's attention from the actual issue. Sure, the performance wasn't perfect, but I think she has enough live material to prove she can, in fact, sing on key. Can't we just be adults and own up to this? We don't need to get into an emotional philosophical romp about what feelings people want to feel from their artists. Admittedly, I want my favourite artists to sing in key, but if they make a mistake along the way I'm not going to delete them from my iPod. After all, if they couldn't sing I wouldn't be a fan in the first place. Fans and critics are all people indulged in the music industry for one reason or another. Fans will forgive. Media will spotlight the mistakes. Anyone else who's interested will make a decision based on any number of qualities: technicality, emotion, genre, lyrics. I don't doubt Borchetta is more than knowledgeable when it comes to the music industry, but the argument seems a bit off. Regardless, I would hope the fans Swift, or any artist, wants are those who would support them through every success and any failure.

To read the full article just click!
Scott Borchetta comes to Swift's Defense

iLag. No big deal.

All the chatter and hype around the intro of the iPad has, as expected, roused much debate all over social media platforms. Blogs, Twitter, Facebook - they all offer insights and criticism, which are probably 99% fueled by personal experiences/biases with Apple products and service. After reading some of these articles and posts I decided to go directly to the source and see what the manufacturer's saying at Apple.com.

Unfortunately my quest has been stalled because the Apple site is making my computer lag so much it took 4min to even open the keynote video of Steve Jobs, then it didn't even load the video properly. After another 3min of nothing I had to close the player as I feared my laptop's life and soul were being sucked away. Almost as if Jobs is trying to turn my non-Mac into a lowly... Netbook *gasp*.

I'm still a fan of Apple products, but I guess my search will have to be taken to YouTube to see the video. I wonder if I had the iPad, with all it's revolutionary internet browsing features, if I would be able to watch the video off the Apple page...

Note: video on YouTube works great. Just saying.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Public Moments at The Cafe 4.0

Incident 4.1
I’m not feeling the positivity today. As a result, the café has transformed into a psychological battlefield, where everyone needs to decide if you are allies or enemies; if you can take refuge in the seat by their side; or if unspoken wars will ensue from one distasteful glance.

The dishevelled man angled just within my peripheral is positioned to sit and stare straight in my direction. This is a pet peeve of mine as it would seem normal to at least look away momentarily when caught staring, but he ceases to desist. Battle on old man. Let’s dance.

“Eye for an eye” is such a great phrase. Although timeless and overused, I find the literal meaning behind it amusing. I always think of it when put in a situation where I feel uncomfortable from relentless onlooking eyes. Cliched phrases have directed me to stare back at this man until one of us cracks.

After some observation (a.k.a. an immature adult stare-off) he has finally turned properly in his seat, his side now facing me, and opened his satchel to retrieve some reading material. He has become a faceless member of the java society here who contentedly sips on their overpriced brews and enjoys either solitary contemplation or polite conversation.

Odd how, now, with simple purpose he appears less unkempt. By focusing on an object, rather than an estranged person, he manages to change his identity from a rude, unwelcoming miscreant to casual member of society. Maybe a simpler focus on writing and what I want out of it will transform me from frustratingly unpaid to passionately employed.

Incident 4.2
What began as a need to plug in my laptop adapter has become a test of agility and character. With the café a bustling locale today I had to find a seat four feet from the outlet on the wall. There are no obstructions anywhere around my cord, which sits starkly black along the off-white tiles, yet people still manage to kick the cord as they walk by. I give credit to those who had their hands full and can’t necessarily look down. However, there are people who fully look and see the cord, even pace their steps approaching it, and still manage to trip on it. Then there are those who are offended to find any obstructions in their path. I’m sure they’re used to being carried on thrones around their own property and having the commoners bow as they pass. Unfortunately The Café offers no such treatment. Get over yourself.

No matter what the situation, I will always be surprised at the complete uselessness of some people.

Public Moments at The Cafe 3.0

Incident 3.1
Decided to try out a different coffee shop. New week, new cafe!

Sounded good at the time...

Incident 3.2
No such luck finding the proper cafe network to connect to the generously free-of-charge WiFi. The supposed network is nowhere to be seen. Unfortunately neither is the customer service. Dude behind the counter, sporting a middle-part bowl cut flattened by unwashed grease, is so annoyed at my smile and pleasantly voiced question that he snubs me and refuses to help me. He has also fashioned himself a poorly maintained Hitler 'stache. I feel politically incorrect making the reference, but I didn't snap a photo of him so I simply must develop the photo in your minds for you.

Incident 3.3
Attempt to connect to WiFi only gets worse. I now fear for the safety of my computer. My initial strange gut feeling to not go to the cafe today finally wins and I pack up. I leave frustrated and wondering why I didn't listen to my gut or just choose a different cafe.

. . . . . . . . . .

Incident 3.4
Divine revelation! Stars have aligned and I have found the purpose of my unsuccessful cafe adventure - 65 Front Street. It is located right beside the cafe, with the address emblazoned on chunky wood handles, each number branded into each handle. Its imperfections and rustic efforts make it so unique and distinct. I'll have to go back with my camera!

It's a perfect find for one of my favoured blogs, which celebrates street number typography around the city. I now find myself constantly looking at buildings, doors and signs to uncover another type gem. It really makes you appreciate the design and creativity that goes into the smallest details of some of the biggest structures.

Check out the blog for yourself and see what unique street type you can discover! {http://59amblepath.blogspot.com}

Friday, January 29, 2010

Public Moments at The Cafe 2.0

Incident 2.1
On my way to the café the inevitable happened. Obediently taking the right hand side of the sidewalk, an offensive line of three middle-aged women tried to take me to the streets. Literally. The women carried their shoulders like game day linesmen, perfectly aligned and relentlessly staying on course. Fully determined to stand my ground – and not side step into oncoming traffic on Yonge Street – I locked my arms, elbows and fingers to embrace my fate. Sure enough, a direct hit to my left forearm, but I wasn’t shaken or moved.

I was rattled though. When are people going to access those flickering brain cells and acknowledge proper social etiquette? Maybe in other countries societies adopt the chaos theory, but this is Canada. We drive on the right side of the road, we walk on the right side of the sidewalk, and we enter double door entries on the right hand side. Well, that’s what is taught to kindergartners at least. Recess and gold stars aside, If walking with a crowd in a straight line the logical maneuver would be to respectfully shift to the left. Don’t panic, it’s only for a moment, just long enough that others can pass you without facing a gauntlet.

Incident 2.2
The woman in front of me has a trench coat length black fur coat. Didn’t know that was still happening. She has also topped her ensemble with a brimmed floppy beret. Just saying.

Incident 2.3
Yet another inevitable crossroad in my day – the need to use the facilities, but no one is around to watch my things.

Incident 2.4
Awkward and socially inept people make me so uncomfortable for some reason. I couldn’t even enjoy most of Napolean Dynamite because of this.

Incident 2.5
Situating myself near the GO station offers a constant rush of entertainment as people are sprinting down the street to catch their trains. This priority defies moving vehicles, traffic lights and other pedestrians. Some people amaze me and, yet, I wouldn’t be surprised if one of them was injured mid-stride.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Public Moments at The Cafe 1.0

Incident 1.1
In a desperate attempt to avoid committing myself I left the tumbleweeds to blow through my apartment. Admittedly, today is the last ‘sane’ day I’ve given myself as I am supposed to hear back from a job “earlier in the week” so I figured if I don’t hear back by end of day Wednesday I will have to end my life. I’m not vain enough to end myself in public so I have ventured into the real world to avoid making a scene. I’ve settled into a coffee shop, positioning myself with great views and a comforting brew. Having worked in a busy downtown coffee shop in a past life and joined the shaky eccentric group of coffee addicts in university, I exhale slowly and sink into the void. This void is the nirvana between my own reality and everyone else's. Where I can sit alone for hours, but completely ignore myself at the same time; where an indulgence in my peers is exciting, entertaining and endless. That man has no idea his fly is unforgivably undone… They are on my fear of a first date… Is it still considered a conversation if both people are constantly texting while talking?... This is my haven. And so I lovingly title this entry as my first incident since we all need to begin somewhere.

Incident 1.2
Having recently sent my laptop in for repairs, it has come back completely cleaned and buffed. Still in awe of its newborn beauty I haven’t taken the plastic cover off the top of the case. As a result, I am making a fool out of myself as the OCD girl who is way too concerned with getting nicks on her precious computer.

Incident 1.3
In order to get to an outlet to power my computer I needed to move the chair and table. Fortunately the lady sitting across from me kindly obliged. This was the start of our delightful caffeinated friendship, which she initiated, asking if I was a student or working in the area. I was amazed to discover she is only finishing high school as she not only looked like a bonafide university student, but also had the maturity of a full fledged working gal.

Struggling to make my way back into the working world myself, she (Louise) acted as a power source to my life, re-energizing me with positivity to keep focus on my career goals. Funny how a stranger can completely shift your day; the experiences can be good or bad of course, but if you put forward a positive attitude you only help the odds of enhancing your day.

Louise also lives the ultimate rule to success – networking. Whether I’m a student, professional or hobo she knew I was going to add life experience to her repertoire. Something she clearly values and something I profoundly respect.

From now on, I will be more like Louise.

Incident 1.4
You know global warming is serious when Torontonians are shocked at a random snowfall. I know the weather has been above the seasonal average, but we’re still in Canada, not an apocalyptic crisis. Calm yourselves.

I would love to see four policemen on horses ride past the café right now…

Incident 1.5
OCD plastic laptop protector is still on, glaring proudly at all the questioning java addicts.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Verdict is in: later ain't greater. No big deal.






FINISH HIM!...





The debacle between Conan O'Brien and Jay Leno has caught immense attention from the media. It has become the most salivating news since the Paris and Nicole split. With all the speculation and inevitable gossip, there are a few key issues I feel have been ignored.

{ 1 } If Leno cannot perform to the network's satisfaction, who's to say he can bring in the ratings in his old timeslot? Conan has always had an audience, which has only grown with his earlier time. No, I did not read this on StatsCan, I am judging by (a) myself who can watch his entire show now as opposed to waiting until his starts; and (b) the ongoing number of people I hear talk about how terrible Leno is doing, which is much appreciated as I haven't watched Leno in years.


{ 2 } Andy Richter makes a much better sidekick than Branford Marsalis. Perhaps not musically, but from a producer-comedic-entertaining-personality point of view, Richter takes it.

{ 3 } Due to Leno's failing ratings, perhaps this is NBC's manipulative ploy to pump their ratings with an NBC family scandal? A desperate grab for some much needed media attention, to boost audience awareness and get viewers to tune into both shows to see how the drama is playing out on air. Let's be honest, we all love a good reality show.

{ 4 } Asians love ginger.

{ 5 } Deon Cole, writer for The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, is hilarious and solidified that I am, indeed, a Coco Girl. The video clip says it all: Understanding NBC's motives

Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Olympics: A World United, A Population Annoyed. No big deal.

The 2010 Olympics commercial ("The Best of Us") presents a colourful picture of unity, bringing all ends of the world together in the spirit of athleticism... and competition. Just to clarify:
u-ni-ty: the state of being one; oneness
com-pe-ti-tion: the act of competing; rival for supremacy
I find this amusing.
Thank you Dictionary.com


I couldn't help but notice how the commercial depicted the fate of the rest of the population; those who are not involved in the Olympics and, in turn, will be negatively effected by the events. I've taken a few snapshots of the commercial to illustrate this:











The destruction of land and monuments and the Olympian foot that monopolizes the road, making traffic halt and disrupting routines is an honest portrayal of how some commoners may feel. Specifically, those who are not affiliated with the Olympic Committee or are not a competing athlete will feel the forceful colossal hand of the O.C. I am not saying I do not enjoy the Games, but I am the first to state that I am against having them in my city and I thank the Olympic Committee for doing a fabulous job illustrating why.